


Air Horns are Dangerous Things

by orphan_account



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Rush (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Oscar the dog - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, idk ooc, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22547368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The One Where James has taken to pranking Niki.(Which honestly wouldn't be a problem-if only James wasn't the type to saw the legs off of your chair.Niki barely survived that one.)
Relationships: James Hunt & Niki Lauda, James Hunt/Niki Lauda
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Air Horns are Dangerous Things

**Author's Note:**

> Niki/James AU: Niki only ever dated Marlene (they never married or had children and are platonic buddies) and James and Suzie only ever dated.
> 
> This is a work of fiction, and I mean no offense to the real persons that I have modeled in this fic.  
> This work has not been beta’d.

“Yes, yes, yes. Alright? Yes.”

“No James, I want to hear you say it.” Niki took his boyfriend’s hand as they climbed the stairs to their shared apartment. His expression serious, he tugged again at James’s hand. “Say it.”

They reached their floor, and turned a corner at the landing. James smiled sweetly, eyes glittering with mirth. He shrugged playfully. “I promise.”

Niki narrowed his eyes and James sighed. Taking on a more genuine smile, he squeezed Niki’s hand. “No more pranks.” They came to stand in front of their door. James leaned over to peck Niki’s lips. “I promise.”

James then nudged Niki forward, lifting their bags of takeaway Chinese. “C’mon you have the keys. I’m starved.” Niki rolled his eyes as James started to salivate with cartoonish enthusiasm over the greasy paper bags.

He dropped James’ hand to dig in his pockets for the keys. “Are you sure? You locked up.”

“Yeah but I gave them to you at the restaurant, love, because I got tired of holding them.”

Niki checked the back pocket of his jeans and finally felt the keys. James shot him a lecherous smirk. “ _I_ could have told you they were there.”

Ignoring him, Niki unlocked the door and pushed it open. Before he could start his way in, James was shoving against him. “James!”

“You’re so slow and I’m so hungry.”

The Austrian sighed and the two struggled through the doorway together. Niki braced himself up against the door, pushing it completely to the wall when suddenly a terrible blare sounded.

He would later fervently deny it, but at the time Niki shrieked and latched onto James so quickly that they both nearly toppled over due to his panicked flailing.

Oscar, James’ now one year old puppy, ran barking into the room and curled himself protectively around his master’s legs.

Niki stared wide-eyed in shock at the door, while James watched the hallway from the open doorway, praying that the neighbors hadn’t-

“My God! Niki, James! Are you guys okay?” He heard Clay even before he poked his head out from his apartment across the hall. His door was only open far enough for him to peak out, and James found the sight of his disembodied head- _goofy mustache and all_ -surprisingly funny.

Niki was still frozen. However, he was now watching their door with a newfound sense of betrayal.

James didn’t feel like letting Clay see whatever was going to happen next.

“Oh, Clay! Hey! Fancy seeing you here, huh?” He plucked Niki’s fingers from where they had still been wrapped around his wrist, and stepped around both his boyfriend and dog to start closing the door. “Everything’s fine-just peachy in fact.” He pulled the keys out from where they had been left jammed in the lock.

Clay started to open his mouth to reply, but James swiftly cut him off. “You know Niki,” He brought his free hand to his mouth in a stage whisper. “Very… _vocal_.”

His bushy eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline. Clay was frowning. “James.”

With a quick glance at Clay’s wild hair, and noting his reluctance to reveal more than his head, James decided that he had something to work with to shut down his ever-intruding neighbor. “Clay, really, it’s fine. You should get back to your guest, I didn’t mean to interrupt your nightly _extracurricular activities_.” He winked. “If you know what I mean.”

Clay looked absolutely scandalized and James was positively delighted with himself. He would definitely capitalize on this later. “How did you-”

“Nice chat Clay, nice chat! Bye-bye for now, so long for later!” James shut the door, and when he turned he saw that Niki had yet to move. Where the open door had previously been obscuring his view, Niki was now glaring at the offensive sight of a blow horn crudely duct-taped to the wall. James cautiously inched past him, being mindful enough not to trip over Oscar, and set the food down on their coffee table.

With his hands free and now at a safe distance, James took the time to really admire the view of his boyfriend.

Niki’s chest was still heaving and he had one hand clenching at his heart while the other was being used to stop himself from sliding down the wall that he was leaning against. Niki’s teeth, in all their protruding, endearing glory, were caught over his lip. Oscar was still at Niki’s feet, but now the pair both had their eyes focused across the room and on James.

It was only after Niki’s left eye twitched that James lost his composure. 

His face broke into a wild smile, and his chuckles grew into loud laughter as he doubled over. “Oh my god.” James could feel his eyes prickling as he continued, breathless. “You should have seen your face, darling-it was-it-” But his laughter picked up again, and so he sacrificed making his point to just wave helplessly at his boyfriend.

“I hate you.”

James blinked through his tears to stare as Niki approached, however, the Austrian was no longer glowering but smiling pleasantly.

Almost too pleasantly.

The Brit straightened to his full height, sobering up-if only slightly. “No you don’t.”

Niki came to stand in front of him, and James tentatively rested his hands on the shorter man’s hips. To James’s surprise, Niki reached up and looped his arms around his neck. He felt Oscar brush against his legs as the dog abandoned his masters to activities that didn’t involve petting him, walking him, or feeding him.

His eyes widened when Niki started playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. “You’re right. I don’t.”

James chuckled nervously. “Is this the part where you finally kill me? It’s been a long time coming, but-” He was silenced as Niki brought their mouths together.

He pulled away breathless, and pointed at the food. “But what about….” James trailed off as Niki moved his mouth to his neck. “It’s going to get cold…” His complaints lost all credibility as he moaned appreciatively at the sudden attention to his collarbone.

James then wondered briefly if Niki was the sort of person to get frisky after near-death experiences (which would explain some of his post-race behaviours), before his aforementioned boyfriend was palming him through his jeans. He gasped and his hands flew up to tangle themselves in Niki’s dark curls. “Niki.”

The Chinese food was forgotten entirely.

He tilted his head back in order to give Niki a clear path to the sensitive parts of his neck. Niki’s hands were still at his crotch and James groaned. “Maybe we should move this somewhere more comfortable, hm? Bed, couch, counter?” He pulled lightly at the other man’s hair. “I’m open to suggestions.”

Niki left James’s neck, and rested his forehead against the other man’s. James bumped their noses together and Niki almost lost the will to carry on with what he had planned.

James grinned at him. “I’m going to have to setup a lot more air horns if this is the result.”

Almost.

He waited until the insufferable blond met his gaze, then Niki gave a devilish smirk. “Ah, thank you. I’m glad that is out of my system now.” It was then that Niki completely detangled himself from James and stepped around him to grab their takeout. The Brit spluttered indignantly behind him.

Niki gestured with an innocent smile at James’s tented jeans, blue eyes sparkling. “You should really take care of that before we eat.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)  
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
